THE SURVEY SAYS

WHY CAN'T A WOMAN BE MORE LIKE A MAN
A survey sponsored by Unilever says that the average woman would give up sex for 15 months in return for a closet full of new clothes. 2% would deny sex for 3 years. It doesn't say how many would give it up forever.
In a MR BAD IDEAS survey: What would a man accept to give up sex for 15 months? Nothing.

I HOPE I GET A GOOD CHRISTMAS BONUS
Dancing on table tops and photocopying body parts isn't the only thing going on at office Christmas parties. A British survey says that one-third of those surveyed admitted to having sex with the boss during the party.
Could this be true? Does the boss sit in his office like Bill Clinton with his employees lined up outside the door waiting to wish him or her a "Merry Christmas"?
The survey was from a dating website.

JUST DOING A LITTLE RESEARCH, BOSS
According to billionaire Mark Cuban, 50% of online video viewing is done between 7am and 5pm Monday thru Friday. I don't believe it is by shut-ins or people sitting at home on the couch waiting for Whiplash Willie,their shyster lawyer to call about their lawsuit. Only 6% of viewing takes place on weekends.

80% of Americans think they are smarter than their boss. Except for my employees, I believe they are right.

WHO NEEDS TO FLOSS?
The latest crackpot poll from Britain says 60% of respondents pick their teeth with such things as screwdrivers, scissors, earrings, knives, keys, needles and forks. 23% just leave the food in their teeth.
It must be true. It's a poll.
Another good tooth picker is a parchment business card. They are thinner than standard business cards but very sturdy. They are expensive cards, so the best source is a crooked lawyer or somebody trying to act richer than they are.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING IN THERE
50% of motel and hotel guests watch pay per view DIRTY movies in their room which results in a large percentage of the hotel's profit.
The average viewing time is 12 minutes.

HOW ACCURATE ARE POLLS?
The staple of the LAZY NEWS is to quote the latest poll or survey handed to them and act like it is the absolute truth. It helps use up some air time. How accurate are polls and surveys? ABC's 20/20 did a show on laziness. They hired people and paid them $200 to walk the streets asking survey questions. Some were gogetters. Some were slackers. If someone walked off before finishing the survey, one slacker would fill in their answers for them. Another would just fill out a whole survey so they could keep their survey count up.
Marketers are saying that so many people refuse to participate in surveys that there is a marketing research crisis. They call it OPINION FATIGUE.